Point proven. The sunglasses I’m wearing came from Cologne’s branch of H&M, reduced to 3 Euro. For my convenience, the price on the label was also listed in pounds. A pair of H&M sunglasses made in China could just as easily end up in Southampton, Koln or anywhere else, and not even the label would be different.

That’s not to say that Cologne- or what I saw of it in my 4 hour stay, is an unpleasant place, or somewhere without character. The cathedral is an impressive looking thing, still wearing its sinister black coat of dust and soot accumulated down the ages, and consequently had a considerably Gothic feel, which imposes on you like a stern old man. You don’t get that so much in British cathedrals since they began scrubbing them up a few years ago, giving them a hyper-realistic, friendlier, more pastoral feel, as if they were born yesterday and hadn’t existed before Thatcher brought the wealth necessary for the cleanup to begin.

Either way, Cologne cathedral is raised up on a pedestal above the square that next to the main train station, where the youth of Germany gather to smoke and grind skateboards along the steps, along with stereotypically large ladies carrying their shopping back from Aldi.

Beyond the cathedral, however, about all I managed was a stroll down to the river, and that famous iron bridge. Glancing over at a rack of postcards, I did a bit of a double take, seeing a photograph, c. 1945 of the bridge twisted like a steel snake half submerged in the river. For a split second, I assumed it must be one of those surrealist, black & white edge of reason, type of shots, but no, apparently we do mention the war here. In passing at least.

The City Nightline service from Koln to Wein Westbahnhof was running 50 minutes late, so I took the opportunity whilst in Germany to grab a Pilsner and Bockwurst on a paper plate, not forgetting mustard and Roll (eaten separately from the sausage), and take a break. Tourist trap in the middle of Koln station, alongside Pizza Hut and Burger King? Of course, but by that point, I was past caring, and with Cologne cathedral out of view, I desperately needed reminding that I was in Germany.