The Rhine was exactly as I imagined it and, regretfully, reminiscent of a ‘Rhineland Cruise’ ride I’d been on at Busch Gardens in Virginia, USA when I was 12. Without the Big Bad Wolf roller coaster. An Austrian would, of course, slap me for saying it and I’m sure the rest of you will be howling at my cultural banality, however, so I’ll move on.

If Busch can replicate something like that, then all credit to them, because it’s genuinely an amazing sight. Who in their right mind would fly? I’m lying in my couchette, beer and pretzels in hand, looking out the window as traditional villages zip by along with their whitewashed walls and pointy spires, shadow starting to fall over the forested valley and the twinkling castles and spires up in the hills above. You can keep your airline meals, ta.